Often times family and friends in an attempt to help a person grieving can say or do something that unintentionally hurts that person they are just trying to help.
This is why it is so important to write out or verbally discuss the things that are needed to assist us after we lose someone we love. Of course, family and friends want to be there and help out in many ways, But if there is no communication of the areas in which help is needed, sometimes there may be some confusion.
A PERSONAL MEMORY:
In an event to help me one day a friend of mine, went in my dresser and took my husbands clothing out without my permission, boxed them up and put them away in a closet in another room. I in one of my many breakdown moments went to the drawers where his clothing was supposed to be to get an item to hold, cry and possibly even smell, but the drawers were empty. I questioned the friend and they stated that his clothing was boxed up and placed in a closet in another room.
I immediately lost it and became angry. “How dare you touch his clothing, I stated as I stormed out of the room to go retrieve my husband’s clothing, it felt almost like I was going to save him from some sort of hurtful event. I just knew at that time, I had to go retrieve my husband’s clothing and how dare someone touch them.
After putting all of his clothing back into the dressers, I calmed down and later stopped and focused on a scripture in the book of {Job }
Then Job replied: “I have heard many things like these; miserable comforters are you all!” Job 16:1-2
What a comforting scripture. God instilled in me the strength to apologize for my behavior.
ADVICE THAT IS HURTFUL AND INSENSITIVE
We must remember that we will receive “advice” that is insensitive and hurtful. Although other people may mean well, they often say the wrong thing.
We still must seek forgiveness from God for any resentment we are holding and/or harboring against these people.
This is why it is so important to talk to God.
God, when I think back on some of the comments that have been said to me, I burn with frustration, fury, rage, and anger!
I am hurt Father God; But I want to get better, not worse, so I’m choosing to forgive. Help me stay committed to this process.
A LITTLE PIECE OF MY HEART 
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