10 Funny Quotes and Sayings

  1. “I have to keep reminding myself that I’m an adult and will be charged as one.”
  2. “Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation is going to be epic!”
  3. “I’d walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. But a super humid room…but not too humid because, you know… my hair.”
  4. “You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!”
  5. Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly “You can see me?”
  6. “The strongest people make time to help others, even if they are struggling with their own problems.”
  7. “One minute you’re really young and cool… and the next, you’re getting all excited about a new vacuum.”
  8. “If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would fart…”
  9. “Friends buy you a lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.”
  10. “That moment when you realize it wasn’t a fart”