Thanatophobia is a Real Phobia Suffered by Many Individuals

While reading up on this phobia, I found this article on Wikipedia.

Death anxiety is anxiety which is caused by thoughts of death. One source defines death anxiety as a “feeling of dread, apprehension or solicitude (anxiety) when one thinks of the process of dying, or ceasing to ‘be'”. It is also referred to as Thanatophobia (fear of death), and is distinguished from Necrophobia, which is a specific fear of death or dying persons and/or things (i.e. others who are dead or dying, not one’s own death or dying).

Additionally, there is anxiety caused by death-related thought-content, which might be classified within a clinical setting by a psychiatrist as morbid and/or abnormal, which for classification pre-necessitates a degree of anxiety which is persistent and interferes with everyday functioning. Lower ego integrity, more physical problems, and more psychological problems are predictive of higher levels of death anxiety in elderly people because of how close to death they are to dying.

Predatory death anxiety

Predatory death anxiety arises from the fear of being harmed. It is the most basic and oldest form of death anxiety, with its origins in the first unicellular organisms’ set of adaptive resources. Unicellular organisms have receptors that have evolved to react to external dangers, along with self-protective, responsive mechanisms made to guarantee survival in the face of chemical and physical forms of attack or danger. In humans, predatory death anxiety is evoked by a variety of dangerous situations that put one at risk or threaten one’s survival. These traumas may be physical, psychological, or both. Predatory death anxiety mobilizes an individual’s adaptive resources and leads to a fight-or-flight response: active efforts to combat the danger of attempts to escape the threatening situation.

Predation or predator death anxiety

Predation or predator death anxiety is a form that arises when an individual harms another, physically and/or mentally. This form of death anxiety is often accompanied by unconscious guilt. This guilt, in turn, motivates and encourages a variety of self-made decisions and actions by the perpetrator of harm to others.

Existential death anxiety

Existential death anxiety stems from the basic knowledge that human life must end. Existential death anxiety is known to be the most powerful form.It is said that language has created the basis for existential death anxiety through communicative and behavioral changes.^[11] Other factors include an awareness of the distinction between self and others, a full sense of personal identity, and the ability to anticipate the future.

Awareness of human mortality arose some 150,000 years ago. In that extremely short span of evolutionary time, humans have fashioned a single basic mechanism through which they deal with the existential death anxieties this awareness has evoked—denial. Denial is effected through a wide range of mental mechanisms and physical actions, many of which go unrecognized. While denial can be adaptive in limited use, excessive use is more common and is emotionally costly. Denial is the root of such diverse actions as breaking rules, violating frames and boundaries, manic celebrations, directing violence against others, attempting to gain extraordinary wealth and power—and more. These pursuits are often activated by a death-related trauma, and while they may lead to constructive actions, more often than not, they lead to actions that are damaging to self and others.

Thanatophobia

Sigmund Freud hypothesized that people express a fear of death, called Thanatophobia. He saw this as a disguise for a deeper source of concern. It was not actually death that people feared because in Freud’s view nobody believes in their own death. The unconscious does not deal with the passage of time or with negations, which does not calculate the amount of time left in one’s life. Furthermore, that which one does fear cannot be death itself, because one has never died. People who express death-related fears, actually are trying to deal with unresolved childhood conflicts that they cannot come to terms with or express emotion towards. The name Thanatophobia is made from the Greek figure of death known as Thanatos.

Wisdom: Ego integrity vs. despair

A developmental psychologist, Erik Erikson, formulated the psycho-social theory that explained that people progress through a series of crises as they grow older. The theory also envelops the concept that once an individual reaches the latest stages of life, they reach the level he titled as “ego integrity“. Ego Integrity is when one comes to terms with their life and accepts it. It was also suggested that when a person reaches the stage of late adulthood they become involved in a thorough overview of their life to date. When one can find meaning or purpose in their life, they have reached the integrity stage. In opposition, when individual views their life as a series of failed and missed opportunities, then they do not reach the ego integrity stage. Elders that have attained this stage of ego integrity are believed to exhibit less of an influence from death anxiety.

Terror management theory

Ernest Becker based this theory on existential views which turned death anxiety theories towards a new dimension. It said that death anxiety is not only real but also it is people’s most profound source of concern. He explained the anxiety as so intense that it can generate fears and phobias of everyday life—Fears of being alone or in a confined space. Based on the theory, many of people’s daily behavior consists of attempts to deny death and to keep their anxiety under strict regulation.

As an individual develops mortality salience, i.e. becomes more aware of the inevitability of death, they will instinctively try to suppress it out of fear. The method of suppression usually leads to mainstreaming towards cultural beliefs, leaning for external support rather than treading alone. This behavior may range from simply thinking about death to severe phobias and desperate actions.

Death and adjustment hypotheses

Main article: Death and adjustment hypotheses

Mohammad Samir Hossain postulated the Death and adjustment hypotheses. With the declaration of the hypotheses, two things were postulated. The first part of the hypotheses theorizes that death should not be considered the end of existence. The next segment states the belief that the immortal pattern of human existence can only be adopted in a morally rich life with the attitude towards morality and materialism balanced mutually.

Martin Heidegger, the German philosopher, on the one hand, showed death as something conclusively determined, in the sense that it is inevitable for every human being, while on the other hand, it unmasks its indeterminate nature via the truth that one never knows when or how death is going to come. Heidegger does not engage in speculation about whether being after death is possible. He argues that all human existence is embedded in time: past, present, future, and when considering the future, we encounter the notion of death. This then creates angst. Angst can create a clear understanding in one that death is a possible mode of existence, which Heidegger described as “clearing”. Thus, angst can lead to a freedom of existence, but only if we can stop denying our mortality (as expressed in Heidegger’s terminology as “stop denying being-for-death”).

Meaning management theory

Paul T. P. Wong‘s work on the meaning management theory indicates that human reactions to death are complex, multifaceted and dynamic. His “Death Attitude Profile” identifies three types of death acceptances as Neutral, Approach, and Escape acceptances. Apart from acceptances, his work also represents different aspects of the meaning of death fear that is rooted in the bases of death anxiety. The ten meanings he proposes are finality, uncertainty, annihilation, ultimate loss, life flow disruption, leaving the loved ones, pain, and loneliness, prematurity, and violence of death, failure of life work completion, judgment and retribution centered.

Other theories

Other theories on death anxiety were introduced in the late part of the twentieth century.The existential approach, with theorists such as Rollo May and Viktor Frankl, views an individual’s personality as being governed by the continuous choices and decisions in relation to the realities of life and death. Another approach is the regret theory which was introduced by Adrian Tomer and Grafton Eliason. The main focus of the theory is to target the way people evaluate the quality and/or worth of their lives. The possibility of death usually makes people more anxious if they feel that they have not and cannot accomplish any positive task in the life that they are living. Research has tried to unveil the factors that might influence the number of anxiety people to experience in life.

Personal meanings of death

See also: Meaning-making

Humans develop meanings and associate them with objects and events in their environment, provoking certain emotions within an individual. People tend to develop personal meanings of death which could accordingly be negative or positive for the individual. If they are positive, then the consequences of those meanings can be comforting (for example, ideas of a rippling effect left on those still alive). If negative they can cause emotional turmoil. Depending on the certain meaning one has associated with death, the consequences will vary accordingly whether they are negative or positive meanings.

Religiosity’s effect

The thought of death causes a different degree of anxiety for different individuals, depending on many factors.

Other studies have found a strong sense of religion in a person’s life can be related to a lower sense of anxiety towards death. Although there has been no association discovered between religiosity and death anxiety, it has also been shown that death anxiety tends to be lower in individuals who regularly attend religious meetings or gatherings. On a recent study, one hundred and sixty-five church participants have been asked to fill out the “Intrinsic Religious Motivation Scale, the Revised Death Anxiety Scale” and the results were analyzed using factor analyses, Pearson correlation, and linear and quadratic regression. All found an inverse relationship between intrinsic religious motivation and death anxiety. In short, the more religious you are, the less anxious you are about death because you may associate death with another beginning that is promised through many religions. The study also found that gender did not have an effect on religiosity and total death anxiety. A 2013 study involving people from the US, Turkey, and Malaysia found that religiosity is positively correlated with increased fear of death, meaning more religious individuals fear death more.

Children

The earliest documentation of the fear of death has been found in children as young as age 5. Psychological measures and reaction times were used to measure fear of death in young children. Recent studies that assess fear of death in children use questionnaire rating scales. There are many tests to study this including The Death Anxiety Scale for Children (DASC) developed by Schell and Seefeldt. However, the most common version of this test is the Revised Fear Survey Schedule for Children (FSSC-R). The FSSC-R describes specific fearful stimuli and children are asked to rate the degree to which the scenario/item makes them anxious or fearful. The most recent version of the FSSC-R presents the scenarios in a pictorial form to children as young as 4. It is called the Koala Fear Questionnaire (KFQ). The fear studies show that children’s fears can be grouped into five categories. One of these categories is death and danger. This response was found amongst children age 4 to 6 on the KFQ, and from age 7 to 10. Death is the most commonly feared item and remains the most commonly feared item throughout adolescence.

A study of 90 children, aged 4–8, done by Virginia Slaughter and Maya Griffiths showed that a more mature understanding of the biological concept of death was correlated to a decreased fear of death. This may suggest that it is helpful to teach children about death (in a biological sense), in order to alleviate the fear.

Relationship between adult attachment and death anxiety

There has been much literature that supports the existence of a correlation between one’s state of coping skills, mental health, emotions and cognitive reactions to stressful events, and one’s ability to regulate affect concerning one’s death anxiety. A series of tests determined that significantly high levels of death anxiety tend to occur in close relationships with an intimate partner (more so amongst females than males).

Sexes

The connection between death anxiety and one’s sex appears to be strong. Studies show that females tend to have more death anxiety than males. Thorson and Powell (1984) did a study to investigate this connection, and they sampled men and women from 16 years of age to over 60. The Death Anxiety Scale showed higher mean scores for women than for men. Moreover, researchers believe that age and culture could be major influences in why women score higher on death anxiety scales than men.

Through the evolutionary period, a basic method was created to deal with death anxiety and also as a means of dealing with loss. Denial is used when memories or feelings are too painful to accept and are often rejected. By maintaining that the event never happened, rather than accepting it, allows an individual more time to work through the inevitable pain. When a loved one dies in a family, denial is often implemented as a means to come to grips with the reality that the person is gone. Closer families often deal with death better than when coping individually. As society and families drift apart so does the time spent bereaving those who have died, which in turn leads to negative emotion and negativity towards death. Women, who are the child bearers and are often the ones who look after children hold greater concerns about death due to their caring role within the family. It is this common role of women that leads to greater death anxiety as it emphasizes the ‘importance to live’ for her offspring. Although it is common knowledge that all living creatures die, many people do not accept their own mortality, preferring not to accept that death is inevitable and that they will one day die.

Age

It is during the years of young adulthood (20 to 40 years of age) that death anxiety most often begins to become prevalent. However, during the next phase of life, the middle age adult years (40–64 years of age), death anxiety peaks at its highest levels when in comparison to all other age ranges throughout the lifespan. Surprisingly, levels of death anxiety then slump off in the old age years of adulthood (65 years of age and older). This is in contrast with most people’s expectations, especially regarding all of the negative connotations younger adults have about the elderly and the aging process (Kurlychek & Trenner, 1982).

Measuring death anxiety

There are many ways to measure death anxiety and fear. Katenbaum and Aeinsberg (1972) devised three propositions for this measurement. From this start, the ideologies about death anxiety have been able to be recorded and their attributes listed. Methods such as imagery tasks to simple questionnaires and apperception tests such as the Stroop test enable psychologists to adequately determine if a person is under stress due to death anxiety or suffering from a post-traumatic stress disorder. The Lester attitude death scale was developed in 1966 but not published until 1991 until its validity was proven. By measuring the general attitude towards death and also the inconsistencies with death attitudes, participants are scaled to their favorable value towards death.

https://blog.cognifit.com/thanatophobia/

http://www.fearof.net/fear-of-death-phobia-thanatophobia/

Supporting Others Struggling With Grief

While going through our own Grief journey, we can still be a huge support to others struggling through their journey.

The loss of a loved one is never easy. Although it is something we all must face in life, it can be extremely difficult and often times faced with many challenges.
The journey called Grief is a journey that bars none. It doesn’t care who we are or what our status in life or society is. It enters our lives and rips it apart one piece at a time. It leaves us feeling intense and frightening emotions – including depression,
confusion, guilt, and anger.

Even if our Grief is still fresh, or it has been a few years, we can still provide comfort to someone else grieving the loss of their loved one. We should never allow discomfort to prevent us from reaching out to someone grieving.

After suffering a loss, one begins to live through the emotional turmoil involved in the process and journey. With that understanding, we can also provide comfort, kind words of encouragement and a sense of peace to those individuals whom may be suffering through a loss of their own. It always helps to have someone to lean on for support. Those of us who have suffered through our own grieving process can provide positive coping mechanisms to help someone else ease the pain and suffering they are experiencing.

It’s important for each of us to remember that Grief is a process, a journey that takes time to heal, to understand, to cope, to not feel like isolating one’s self anymore; and it is in those times, that the comfort, compassion, empathy, and sensitivity of another who has gone through this journey can be a huge asset to someone going through this journey called Grief!

The Assumption that Makes Grief Hard

Many people throughout the years and within different cultures may have assumed and believed that life on Earth would be easy and pain-free.

The fact of the matter is; that is not the case at all.  We shouldn’t give up hope of a pain – free life and/or existence, because God has promised each of us a better place for those who trust in Christ as Saviour and encourages each of us to console ourselves with that very HOPE.

We should all remain encouraged. This journey we’re on may be a long, tough one, but it’s one that we all can conquer and know that there are greater things waiting for us at the finish line!

As I Grow- A Poem

As I grow to know you more and more,
your strong, masculine beauty I adore.
Your strength and grace is so amazing,
my life so great now interchanging.

Our lives together have grown so great,
my feelings will never be of debate.
My actions are truly louder than words,
saying only I like you would be absurd.

Your chiseled face shows strength and wisdom
with dark eyes to match from another kingdom
You say my lips are soft as a petal of a rose.
I thank our father in heaven that it was me you chose.

Your beautiful, kind heart I will never take for granted.
When I’m in your presence I feel so enchanted.
My prayer is for our love to grow stronger each day.

Will I ever stop loving you?
To this, I say “NO WAY!”

Jasmine D. Parker ©

Grief – The Sugar and Salt Process!

When someone You love dies; often it does not hit you all at once. You are in shock, disbelief, maybe even crying on the inside, but not showing it on the outside. Often it takes a while to register; your heart and mind are not accepting this event; it just cannot be true. It does not matter if it is a Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Aunt, Uncle, Child, Cousin, Best Friend, Husband, Wife, or pet. Grief is a process that takes time, emotionally and physically. Healing does not just happen overnight, it occurs gradually. Understanding this fact can help with the healing process. It is a journey that we all must undertake one day. Grief can appear at any time or place. Sometimes it creeps up on you like grains of sand, slowly drizzling down through an hourglass. You may happily remember all the beautiful things your loved one said and places you traveled together. Memories of the life that was built and years spent enjoying each moment. The undying love and strong bond each had for one another, having each other’s back when times were rough or lean, not afraid to do silly things; like rolling in the snow on a cold winter’s day or those romantic nights snuggling by the fireplace enjoying each other’s childhood stories, or unconquered dreams that each one still longs to fulfill. Remembering their smile, smirk, laughter, scent, their day-to-day activities, also, the love they shared with their family, friends, pets, and life itself. These things can be ever so sweet and generate positive energy which helps the healing process.

Through my Grief, I have grown to call this, the “SUGAR PROCESS.”

My memories of my loved ones were priceless, filled with unconditional love, happiness, picnics in the park, fishing and camping at the lake, drive-in movies, dirt roads, tumbleweeds, and so much gratitude, for just being together with those who meant the world to me. This is how the “Sugar Process” received its name!

Then there are the days that you cannot get out of bed; the unimaginable pain, fatigue, sore muscles, chest pains, headaches, and sorrow are just too great! All you want to do is lie in bed until the pain subsides. The smallest thing in life triggers a breakdown, and you are back at square one again. When that dreaded time comes to pack the loved one’s belongings, it is very difficult, because their scent is on clothing and linens. often people cannot find themselves packing those items of clothing without sniffing shirts, blouses, jeans, dresses, or placing a hat on their head and looking into the mirror as if seeking approval.

Believe me, I know how difficult it is for the grieving loved one to look at photos or hear their favorite song on the radio. If the deceased was a spouse, the other spouse will probably listen to Their song repeatedly while watching videos of their wedding day, and holidays throughout the years. Preparing and eating their favorite foods, or visiting parks, lakes, or just attending Church services can trigger a memory of the many times we  frequented these places with the deceased.  It’s also difficult when you want to place a call  to them as  done so many times before; maybe to ask their opinion of something because they were such a logical person and you trust their opinion. The call could be to talk about each other’s day,  tell them a funny joke to hear their laugh or sarcastic reply, or say I was just thinking of You and wanted to say, I love You. To never able to do these things again can be emotionally rough. These are a few of the occurrences combined with other factors that can often cause one to experience the Emotional Roller Coaster. I, myself have been on this roller coaster, and can tell anyone, it was not a fun ride!

Through my Grief, I have grown to call this, the “SALT PROCESS.”

The loss of a loved one can be devastating, it leaves a huge, gaping wound in the heart. A loss has taken place and cannot be replaced. It is like walking upon a deep hole, and you start filling the hole with dirt, but at the bottom of the hole, Grief is throwing the dirt right back out of the hole. The more you through into the hole, the more gets thrown back at you. Intense Grief can and will open that wound all over again. Creating thoughts of despair, causing tension, anger, survivors’ guilt, fear, loss of appetite, depression, and in many cases, hopelessness. It is like pouring SALT on an open wound, not allowing it to heal, and occasionally, when the wound does scab over, we pick at it again and it opens. This is what Grief does to Us. If one does not find a way to release the tension and get counseling for what they are going through, during this process, they can get stuck in their GRIEF!

This is how the “SALT PROCESS.”  received its name!

Love is Energy, so let Us Live, Love & Laugh. 

Find healthy ways to get through the grief.

The Grief process is essential to the healing process.

Learn to love yourself and take time to integrate the loss of your loved one.

Enjoy your loved ones and give them their flowers while they are here on earth!

 

JASMINE D. PARKER ©

 

Anger With God After the Death of a Loved One

Anger with God is always the result of a conclusion that a perfect God has treated us unjustly and that we have the right or the knowledge to judge God’s ways. We should take our heartfelt anger and pain to the Lord while holding on to the truths we know about Him. He is sovereign, faithful, trustworthy & righteous, and He has not wronged us.

We should talk to God.

God, I’ve been accusing You of things I know nothing about. You are God and Your good plan and Your perfect ways are beyond my comprehension. Someday I may understand, but for now, I will trust You.

Trusting God with our whole heart, helps mend the brokenness we are feeling and the distrust in him. He is mightier than mighty and his love is everlasting.  It may not make sense at first when our loved one dies, but in time, it will all make sense. We are only here temporarily and the lessons learned are for our own growth. We are all God’s children!

 

 

 

The Fight Of Faith

This is so true.

The closer you become to God, the more you are attacked by the enemy.

It’s important to remain grounded in our faith!

“Photo Credit: Pinterest”

Only Once in Your Life

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

~Bob Marley

Photo credit: Erica Echenberg

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Learning to Forgive: Part 5 of 5

When we sincerely mean the words we pray, God has forgiven every sin we have ever committed and will commit. There is something that we all must remember if we start to condemn ourselves. If we have surrendered control of our lives to God, our-day-to day life will become different.

Everyone is a sinner. And the penalty for sin is death, eternal death, separation from God. God sent Jesus to die to pay the penalty for our sins so that we don’t have to. In all of these things, we must continue to trust in Him, believe in him and talk to him. When we start feeling down, depressed, anxious, and guilty and/or empty inside, we should ask God to come into our lives, and give us the strength to make it through this difficult time.

God, I am a sinner in need of Your forgiveness. Thank you for sending Jesus to pay for my sin and raising Him from the dead to overcome the power of sin and death. Without him doing so, there’s no way I could be forgiven or get over the guilt I feel. I receive Your gift of salvation and I know with all of my heart, soul, and mind, you are good, loving & faithful, God. I choose to entrust my life to You. Come into my life, and give me the strength, love, courage, understanding, wisdom, humbleness, & patience to make it through today, tomorrow & always!

Learning to Forgive: Part 4 of 5

Each and every one of us would love to receive God’s forgiveness. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:8-9)

Remembering God’s Love

“Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness.” (Psalm 130:1-4)
God’s forgiveness is a daily reminder of His unconditional love.

If we’ve trusted Christ to pay for our sins, we should also reflect upon the forgiveness we’ve experienced. It’s a constant reminder of His unparalleled love for us.

Sit and Talk to God

We should tell God we’ve ignored him, rejected him, shouted at him in anger and at times have wondered if he was truly good. Yet, here he is offering his unfailing love and forgiveness.
God, you love me so much. I can hardly believe it.