Grieving the loss of a spouse is hard. Death, regardless of the details, can be devastating to those left behind. The loss becomes greater when it occurs on a special day such as the surviving spouses birthday. I am writing this because my husband passed away 6 years ago today, on my birthday while talking to me on the telephone.
Stan, my husband was an incredible man and human being. He had a way of looking at a person and peering deep into their soul and finding good within. All who knew Stan loved him and his amazing personality. I tell people he and I fell in love over Sirius XM Radio.
Stan loved Sirius XM radio and had one in his vehicle and another for the house. When he and I met and started dating, it was unconventional for some but a sign of the times for others. We met online, clicked, started dating and eventually married. It was a match made in perfect heaven. I didn’t really know anything about Sirius radio, so he used it to his advantage asking me what type of music I liked listening to and programming it into his radio. We would ride around talking, listening to the radio and just enjoy our time together. Talking about finding love on a two-way street! We fell madly in love! After dating almost a year, he asked me to marry him, I said yes, we were married and our lives were filled with bliss. Our families blended very well and we created a love haven and our marriage left an incredibly positive mark on all who met us. One thing about my husband, he truly loved me, supported me, encouraged me as I loved, supported and encouraged him. We lifted each other up daily. I shared my passion and love for writing with him and he thought it was just the coolest thing and was most encouraging. He loved sitting and/or lying in bed reading things that I had written and would encourage me to go further.
My husband was a truck driver and I enjoyed traveling the road with him. We traveled many places and were able to connect to one another one a much deeper level. Having met so many people out there on the road, I can truly understand why men and women love the trucker life.
June, 4th, 2012, I was not out on the road with Stan, because I had started back working. He and I had talked several times that day and he jokingly was teasing me about getting older as this was my birthday. We laughed and talked and told one another we would talk again when I got off work to discuss what we would do to celebrate on the weekend when he came home.
When I got off work, he called and I talked to him while driving home, but during our conversation, the call dropped. I just figured it dropped because he went through a dead zone and after trying him back and no response, I just figured he would call me back when he was able to get a better and stronger signal and drove on home.
Later after showering and climbing into bed to do some writing, I saw the State Troopers pull up in front of my house. The one on the passenger’s side pointed to their computer and then to our house. They both exited the vehicle, put their hats on their heads and proceeded to walk up our sidewalk. I put my robe on, they rang the doorbell and I answered the door. The officer standing closest to the door asked me if I were Mrs. Parker and I stated yes and he then asked if I knew Stan Parker?, and I said yes; But as I said yes, I started shaking my head saying no, no, and tears flooded down my face as I started screaming and instinctively knew my sweet husband was gone. The officers confirmed that he had passed away while driving down the freeway. Onlookers stated that his truck slowed down, veered to the right, ran off the highway and through a bobwire fence and came to a stop in a hay field. The troopers both stated that my husband was deceased when the EMS arrived on the scene.
It was confirmed that my husband passed away from a massive heart attack caused by degenerative heart disease. To lose my husband was hard enough, but to lose him the same day of my birthday, became almost too much for me to bear. The pain and heartache of losing him caused me to sink into a dark depression.
The pain of having to tell the children he was gone and to put one foot in front of the other was harder, but it had to be done. I am so grateful to the family and friends who were there for me in my time of need. I truly am thankful for people who dedicate their lives to counseling those going down the dark path of Grief!
Through my faith, I found the courage to hold my head up high again, love myself, love life and continue to pour my feelings and emotions into writing. I had no idea that there are so many people in this world who are in such a deep state of Grief. I meet people at the mall, grocery stores and other places who start talking to me because they feel something or see something in me that makes it genuinely easy for them to talk to me.
My name is Jasmine Parker, today, June 4th is my birthday and I remember the love that I lost on this day 6 years ago. My husband, Stanly W. Parker. One day we will see each other again, but as selfless as you were in life, I know you would want me to find love again and live a wholesome life!
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